DiapOut: Chapter 43
“Rupert, I hope you’re ready because this one is for all the marbles,” said CassiRole in a serious tone as she handed off the giant dice block to her contestant. “Currently, your team is six spaces away from reaching the Diaper Queen’s Castle at the end of the board. That means if you roll a six, the Round is over and your team earns an additional 40 points. However, rolling anything less gives the Wetters another chance to cross the finish line first, and they are considerably closer. Are you nervous?”
Sporting a determined expression, Rupert masked his brimming anxiety along with the dull pain in his abdomen. “Not one bit. Just excited to play,” he said, unable to stop himself from side-eying Kyoko, who remained perched on the edge of Cassi’s platform in her cheerleading uniform.
“Ooh! Someone’s fired up! I like it!” said Cassi, clocking the disdainful glance that Rupert directed at his team captain. Of course, she was going to use this. “Hey, DiapOut Cheerleader! How about riling up the viewers here and at home for Rupert’s big roll? I’m sure he’d appreciate your support.”
Despite the cool temperature of the sound stage, the heat of the overhead lights had never been more palpable to Kyoko as she proceeded to swing her arms and shake her hips for the audience’s amusement. It was as if she’d been morphed into one of the ditsy cheerleaders that she and her high school friends used to avoid at all costs. “On your feet, DiapOut fans! Cassi needs a helping hand!” she shouted, reciting one of the half dozen cheer examples that Keelee had given her. A dreadful feeling overtook her as Cassi’s crowd applauded and cackled at her efforts; a far cry from her reaction to being teased by the audience at the beginning of the game.
“Hehe! You and the rest of the Messers better watch out. I may just have to steal her from you after the show,” remarked Cassi glowingly, the devil on her shoulder granted full control as she savored the misery behind Kyoko’s eyes. Sadly, as much as she wanted to spend all day humiliating Kyoko for being rude to her, the show must go on. “Whenever you're ready, Rupert, you may roll.”
Blowing against the rim of the dice for good luck, Rupert released his grip on the block and immediately stepped backward as if he’d lit the fuse on a stick of dynamite. He and everyone else watching held their breath as the plastic cube bounced around before coming to a sudden halt. In an instant, the exhilarated voices of the studio audience were soured by Rupert’s heart-wrenching 5.
“Goddess, I’m good!” said Jackson, high-fiving his backstage crew after perfectly rigging yet another dice roll. “You saw that, right, Keelee?”
Rolling her eyes, Keelee was, for once, grateful to be out on the studio floor and not cooped up in the back of Jackson’s boys club. “Yeah, yeah, well done. Just don’t get too cocky. The round isn’t over yet,” she said into her walkie-talkie, standing near the end of the board in preparation for the punishment to come.
“Oh no! You were so close!” bemoaned Cassi, pretending to lament the fact that Rupert had come up just short of eeking out the win for his team. “Worse than that, it appears you’ve landed on a red space, which means it’s time for another punishment. Sorry, Rupert.”
Running his hands through his hair, Rupert's face scrunched inward. A self-proclaimed sore loser, it took every ounce of restraint housed within him to keep from stomping off the set in frustration, especially after putting his bowels through the ringer to get here. Surprisingly, it was Kyoko’s sympathetic smile that kept him grounded; his expression softened in correlation with hers. “Grrrrrrrrrrrr! It’s fine. I’m cool,” he said, expelling his rageful sentiment in one big grunt.
“Aww! Such a good sport,” cooed Cassi, pinching Rupert’s cheek. “Well, before you run off. The game may be nearing its end but you’ve still got your punishment, mister. To the board!”
Once again, the giant wheel on the overhead monitor was sent into motion. “I’m gonna go ahead and pre-accept. Can’t afford to cost my team any points, now can I?” said Rupert, gigging in the face of his impending misfortune as the wheel slowed to a stop.
The Diaper Queen’s Wrath
“Oh, dear! It appears the Diaper Queen has mistaken your peaceful approach to the castle for an impending assault on her kingdom. You are quickly captured by her loyal guards and imprisoned in the castle!” said Cassi as a squadron of four production assistants dressed in medieval guard attire ran on stage and hoisted Rupert off the ground. “I do hope that your allies can convince her to release you once they get to the castle. Oh, the humanity!”
Rupert playfully feigned resistance as he allowed himself to be carried across the studio to the castle, which opened up like a dollhouse to reveal a small, silk-lined bassinet. Stuffed within the plush baby seat’s cramped but cozy confines, he giggled as his appendages were squished against his body before being tied into place with silk ribbon. “Help! Cade! Zeke!” he yelled like a damsel in distress, wiggling up a storm as he tested out the resiliency of his new restraints. “You gotta save me–MMMMF!” Before he could belly ache further, one of the guards dutifully shoved a binky into his mouth before tying it around his head. A mild annoyance but one that did manage to turn his punishment into less of a funishment.
“Sorry, dude! My princess is definitely in another castle!” responded Zeke, feasting off the audience’s endless supply of energy as they cackled over his improvised one-liner.
Not to be outclassed, Cassi wasn’t about to let Zeke get away with taking her spotlight unprompted. “You ARE the princess in another castle,” she quipped, stealing much of Zeke’s thunder while continuing to milk his Betsy Wetsy outfit for all it was worth. Pivoting on her back heel to face the camera, she knew she needed to keep the show moving for the sake of production and, more importantly, to maintain her position as the center of attention. “Those Messers are always quite the cards, aren’t they? Too bad for them, Lelaya from the Wetters here, and she’s aiming to put this game away for good!”
“Go,” whispered Keelee, pushing Lelaya forward from offstage and sending her up to Cassi for the third and final time.
Waddling up to Cassi with her bunny ears flopping atop her head, Lelaya was as bouncy as ever. In spite of this, she wore a fiendish scowl as she leaned over Cassi to speak into the microphone. “I’d just like to say that the straight jacket wasn’t as fun as I thought it would be,” she said, shaking her body and causing the metal rings on her straight jacket to rattle. “Let it be known I could’ve held onto the merry-go-round longer if I’d been able to use my arms. Also, my nose has been itchy since my last turn, and I–”
“Woah there, Lelaya! Let’s simmer down for a second,” said Cassi, nudging Lelaya away. If there was one person she couldn’t wait to see walk out the door and never return it was the spacey, self-proclaimed diaper fashionista. Accepting the dice block from Keelee, she decided to use Lelaya’s eagerness against her. “The sooner you roll and cross the finish line, the sooner you’ll be let out of that jacket.” The block rested in her outstretched palm as she offered it forward to Lelaya.
“Wait, that’s all I have to do? Oh, heck yeah!” said Lelaya, her impulsive nature taking over as she swung her leg upward without warning and kicked the dice block out of Cassi’s hands like a soccer ball. The velocity of the dice was enough to send it hurdling off CassiRole’s raised platform, separating it from the magnet that was tucked beneath the stage.
Jolting to his feet fast enough that his chair flew backward, Jackson could only whimper and tug on his perfectly quaffed hair as the dot-covered cube skittered into no man’s land. Suddenly, the fate of how he and his crew had spent months preparing for and hours rigging was put in the hands of a six-sided die. “Oh, Goddess…” he muttered, frozen in awe as the block came to an almost full stop on one of its corners before dropping into place, “...I’m so fired…”
Other than a few idle gasps, the audience remained largely quiet as Lelaya toddled over to examine the result of her roll. “A one! What’s a one get me?” she asked, oblivious to what she had done.
“Um…that’s not…I didn’t say you could…roll yet so…does that count?” said Cassi, looking to Keelee for answers. Tragically, the production manager’s horrified, uncertain countenance said more than words ever could.
Unfortunately for Team DiapOut, the same could not be said for Kyoko, who jovially joined Cassi centerstage. “Excuse me but if Mia dropping the dice a few turns ago counted, then this definitely does,” she said, reminding Cassi of when she cruelly bent that exact rule earlier in Round 3.
Even with 10 points for the well-deserved punishment Lelaya was about to receive, the Messers were set to cross the finish line no matter what Zeke’s roll ended up being; a 40-point swing that would see a final score of 231.7 - 221.1 in the Messers favor. As a result, Round 3 had effectively ended. All that was left to do was crown the victors.
TO BE CONTINUED…