DiapOut Recap! (Chapters 1-35)

"Previously on DiapOut…

Two teams consisting of four players arrived at our studio lot in search of fame, glory, and the $500,000 prize that comes with the title of DiapOut Champion! Donning matching yellow t-shirts were the Wetters, led by ‘Baby New Year’ Mia Holbrook. Fighting alongside her close friends, Ayaya, Misa, and Lelaya, the Wetters have amassed a whopping 171.1. Only one round stands between them and a shot at the grand prize.

Meanwhile, the West Edmonton Tech Diaper Lovers Club has shown up in full force to oppose the infamous Baby New Year. Captained by club leader, Kyoko, the Messers have been one step behind since the end of Round 1 but have kept themselves in range of first thanks to the tireless efforts of teammates, Cade, Rupert, and Zeke. They’ve amassed 146.7 points thus far, placing them just under 25 points behind their rivals.

Hi, my name’s CassiRole, and it’s been my great privilege to host DiapOut; the horniest, blushiest, and messiest show on television! However, before we resume the rousing action of Round 3, let’s take a look back at the first two and half rounds that brought us here…”

Raising her hand high with her fingers spread wide, DiapOut’s production manager, Keelee, pointed her rolled-up cue list at the centermost camera facing CassiRole. “We’re live 5, 4, 3…” she shouted, going silent and using only her fingers to count the final two seconds.

In the blink of an eye, the studio surrounding CassiRole was showered with light as director, Jackson Lynch, cut from the short graphics package to a live shot of the thickly padded host. “Okay, let’s swoop in on Camera 4 for the crowd reaction. Stand by for general seating fill lights…go!” he said, whipping Cassi’s fans into a frenzy.

Waiting for her cue to continue her promotional monologue, Cassi soaked in the roar of her adoring audience. This was her shining moment, and with the show getting juicier every second, seemingly nothing could stop her from rising to the top. So what if she’d fried that Misa chick’s brain with experimental hypnosis tech? She couldn’t be afraid to break the rules if she wanted to be hosting the number one reality show on TV by this time next year. Plus, half the show’s fans would be lining up around the block for the exact same privilege anyway. Watching as Keelee began a silent countdown, she shook off her guilt-inducing thoughts and proceeded with the show’s pulse-pounding recap.

“Our first round kicked things off on a high note as our competitors worked together to complete DiapOut’s ultra-messy relay obstacle course. Representing the four stages of a diaper change, the Baby New Year herself got the Wetters off to an early lead, dropping a dozen feet into a giant diaper filled with pudding for the first diaper pin. Mia’s friend, Misa, would keep up the pace as she slipped and slid for the Wetters' second pin, though not before a heavy collision with her rival from the Messers, Rupert. Thanks to some quick thinking on his part to make up for Cade’s lost time, Rupert helped to propel Zeke past Ayaya on the lotion-covered staircase. Ayaya did her best to “hang on” to the lead but Zeke bared it all to come out ahead!”

Behind Cassi, a giant monitor displayed the humiliating moment when Ayaya accidentally ripped Zeke’s diaper clean off while attempting to reach the cloth diaper hanging overhead. Much like before, the audience ate up the raunchy scene.

“With Ayaya stuck on the stairs, the Wetters were helpless as Kyoko dug through the pit of diaper powder to find her baby doll, clenching victory for the Messers,” said Cassi, capping off her praise by slyly winking Kyoko’s way. The sadistic host savored the hues of red that swarmed Kyoko’s cheeks as memories of their backstage diaper play replayed in their heads. Had Zeke not been such a pussy when she invited him to her dressing room before Kyoko, it could’ve been him she was getting wet over, not that she minded letting her bisexual flag fly whenever it pleased her.

Biting the inside of her lip, Cassi couldn’t allow her insatiable libido to throw off her big speech. She exhaled sharply before resuming, “Going into Round Two with a 45-point deficit, the Wetters had a lot of ground to make up. Fortunately, they had ample opportunity to do so in DiapOut’s very first Mess-Off! Given one hour to mess their diapers, sponsored by The CrissBaby Diaper Company, our eight contestants were more than up to the task. Well…at least most of them were…”

Slow-motion footage of Mia hoisting Misa off the ground and squeezing her tummy until her nappy turned brown appeared on the monitor for all to gawk at. Misa would’ve been mortified to see herself filling a diaper in glorious 4k definition. Mercifully, she was too hypnotized to understand that the audience's laughter was directed at her. Instead, she merely pointed at the screen excitedly upon seeing herself, prompting Mia to reel her dopey friend in.

“Hehe! Such fun!” remarked Cassi, smirking as the clip cut from Misa's explosion to Ayaya’s. “Luckily, the Wetters have one heck of a secret messer on their side. We don’t know where she was keeping all that but we’re happy she’s feeling better now…” More cackling erupted as the replay of Ayaya’s pamper packing was blown up on the big screen.

Snickering at the same set of clips being replayed on the backstage monitors, Jackson listened for Cassi to pivot away from Ayaya’s hypermessy moment to run the next clip. “Looking good. Prep the highlight reel package for the Messers being fed by the Iris nannies, and get ready to close out Round Two with the Wetters ahead by–”

WHISTLE!

Peeking through the blackout current and giving the show's director a seductive wave, Ayaya had her eyes on a prize much bigger than any amount of money could ever be worth. Her gaze lingered on CassiRole’s closeup shot as she puckered her lips and blew a kiss Jackson’s way.

The front of Jackson’s jeans stretched as he coyly waved back at Ayaya, failing to notice his cue was quickly approaching. “Jackson…JACKSON!” shouted Keelee through the distracted director’s headset. Spinning around and diving back into his cue notes, he rushed to regain the show’s momentum.

Giggling at Jackson’s bumbling behavior, it had only been a day and Ayaya already had this place wrapped around her finger. Having worked as a struggling internet celebrity for the bulk of her 20s, she viewed this as her last best chance at stardom, for better or worse. She hadn’t exactly envisioned diapers would be such a huge part of her last best push for fame but beggars couldn’t be choosers. And given the constant internal strife at the hands of the gameshow’s current matriarch, there was a good chance that would be her closeup before the first episode of DiapOut ever hit airwaves.

“Ayaya! We’re gonna be on soon!” said Mia in a half-whisper, half-yell. Grabbing her teammate by the arm, she waddled as quickly as her ultra-heavy, waterlogged diaper would permit as she regrouped with the rest of her team. “Hey, Ayaya’s been found. How’s Misa?” Her concern doubled as she knelt down next to her hypnotized best friend, who was sitting criss-cross applesauce and babbling up a storm while playing with her feet; a far cry from her typical, angsty, diaper-hating personality.

Bouncing on the tips of her toes while bound within a constricting straight jacket, Lelaya did her best to keep a positive outlook in spite of her team’s numerous pitfalls. “Well, she’s gone from tantrum-throwing toddler to happy babbler, so I’d say we’re improving. How’s the diaper?” she asked, gesturing to the swollen pamp sagging between Mia’s legs.

“Hanging in there,” said Mia as she widened her gait to keep her knees from shaking. It would be a loss of ten points if she allowed her diaper to touch the ground, so it was paramount that she reduce her exertion as much as possible from this point forward. Sadly, with how many turns she still had to go before she could rest, the odds of her staying upright until then were looking slimmer and slimmer.

“Heh, just look at the way her legs are shaking. I give her five minutes tops,” speculated Kyoko, conferring with her team through a barred window. After landing on a special event punishment square, she found herself trapped within The Potty Monster’s pudding-filled potty prison until her next turn. Though, that didn’t stop her from micro-managing her team at every turn. “We’re gonna need a strong second half to make up for the massive deficit Zeke landed us in.”

Rubbing the back of his neck with his eyes trained on the floor, Zeke’s guilt over costing his team 25 of their hard-earned points was palpable. “Sorry, I’ll do better next time,” he said, a pit in his stomach forming as he anxiously stared at Keelee from across the studio, knowing his next turn would be coming up shortly.

“Hey, dude. Don wowwy bout it,” said Cade, the effects of the THC-laced lisping jelly finally kicking in. Being a habitual stoner, Kyoko had made it her mission to ensure both he and Rupert remained sharp and sober. Tragically, the DiapOut production team had other plans, not that Cade minded the mental sensation from what he assumed was merely a side effect of the jelly. “Chus chill, we’s chill. Evewyfing’s supa chill. Hehehe!” His infantile drawl soon descended into a fit of giggles.

Unfortunately, Cade’s glowing team assessment was far from the consensus. “Yeah, we’ll be chill…so long as SOMEONE actually lets me play next time,” quipped Rupert, still bitter over Kyoko using her veto medallion to prematurely end his challenge. Regrettably, he could only sound so intimidating due to the fact he was forced to ride on a hopper ball until Ayaya’s next turn, though that didn’t stop him from mean-mugging Kyoko any chance he got. Sure, his odds of winning his previous challenge weren’t great given he was still recovering from the effects of Hypermesser’s Syndrome. Still, it was the fact she didn’t even give him a chance that bothered him so much.

“Oh, whatever, Rupert…” responded Kyoko, knowing exactly who Rupert’s pointed comment was meant for, “...you can barely walk without leaning on Cade, and that Baron Van Blushy dude was running circles around you. I did what I had to–”

“Cut! Great job, everyone! Let’s get in position for the cut back to the game board for Round Three. I need both teams minus Kyoko to return to their space!” announced Keelee, rounding up both teams for the second half of CassiRole’s Candy Land rip-off, Cassi Land. Currently, the Wetters may have had the overall lead in points but the Messers had a slight advantage on the board, standing 3 spaces ahead of their adversaries. Since crossing the finish line first was worth a staggering 40 points, it was pivotal that the Messers reach the end of the board before the Wetters to have any hope of catching up score-wise.

The studio was once again abuzz as a dozen production workers, make-up artists, and personal assistants swarmed Cassi and the set. Round Three had already seen its fair share of exhilarating highlights but she was certain the second half, as well as the subsequent Final Round, would be even more outrageous. “Ta-ta-ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ta-ta. Ma-ma-ma-ma. Ma-ma. Ma-ma,” she recited, getting in some quick vocal warm-ups as she waited for Keelee to count her in.

“Okay, everyone! Let’s have a good rest of the show!” yelled Keelee, filling both the constants, the audience, and CassiRole with anticipation as she held up her hand once more and began counting backward. “5, 4, 3…”